"Welcome To My Life"

It's just one of those days that unraveled on me. I had plans to do several things and as the day went by the first string gave way and now there's another hole in my jeans. To begin I was at my boy friends house waiting for a phone call. I was supposed to sleep over my friend Debbie's house but a family member of hers is in the hospital and she has to be ready to leave at a moments notice. I'm not mad about that. My grandmother passed away about a year ago so i know almost exactly where she's coming from. However I was very disappointed because we haven't had a sleepover in an Age. Any who i was hoping I could join Ian at the party he was going to later tonight (now) and he said no. Here's where it gets complicated. I KNOW very well that all people need there space I have experienced clingy relationships and all I can say is they fail. So if Ian doesn't want me to go to a party I don't want to go truely but I had no other plans. . . I don't want to invade his time with his friends, but I don't want to be stuck home (yet here i am now). He convinced me to call my Best Friend Michelle so I did. Turns out she's going to the same party and so here we go again I was actually invited by one of the guyes throwing the party and Michelle wanted me to go but . . . . well you get the picture and so i dropped Ian off my self and I'm back here. . . . I tried to make other plans with my friend Vania but it's just to late for me to chill at a friends house and truely i was in a party stay up late mood. Unfortunately this is one of those internal fights I cant win. I'm home making Ian happy, i want him to be with his friends without me having a blast, REALLY. But here I am at home wishing i was there not really to be with him just to be some where but here. Being here makes me think more and more how my day sucks and so the inernal conflict continues. . .