"Say Anything"

So these past few days have been- well lets just say not my favorite week i've ever experienced. I don't have to get into details for any one who made it past my last few posts. But all i want now is things to go back to the way they were, but i guess the question isnt whether i want it to go back a couple of weeks or a couple of years. If i went back years i wouldn't remember any of the amazing times ive had in the past years. Like in Eternal Sunshine For The Spotless Mind i couldn't imagine erasing him from my memory. I am so mature i see this as a learning experience i've lost my innocence ive lost my certanty of many things, but i havent lost my beliefe that i CAN hold up and i CAN patch things.
There is a song i wanna post the lyrics to but seeing as he can read this post i dont think im ready for him to read the lyrics. really most of them i want him to read but the last line is i think too much right now. Nothing hateful or regretful just hopeful. I am hopeful but again losing my faith in many things right now dosent help my confusing mind which brings me to why i originaly started this post.
I'm hearing voices. . . before you call the men in white coats (haha hehe hoho to the funny farm) i'm fine. But i quite feel like im in a Stephen King book. The two girls in my head have two verry different personalities : the first timid one has tried despratly to stop me from doning any thing (talking to him, calling him, texting him, aiming him ect), and the other is almost my compleat opposite she's kinda a bitch dare i say. Ms. Bitch has numerously ALMOST convinced me to go to his house and scream at him, break things, and speed down the road way faster than i normally do(this one i am guilty of a couple of occasions). All that im worried of is that they are me!! And im verry convincing. I think they need names but im a little heasetent that names will solidifie them a spot in my mind.
SIGH**
Well i guess all i can hope for now is my sanity stay in tact and he dosent take too long please dont take too long the longer i wait the more i question my self and when you're questioning yourself you're in trouble.