I miss him

so i left my art class today and i dont have work for once. on my drive home i began to think about where i am since this whole thing began. I DO still miss him i miss our friendship but i cant be the one to start it again. When i went on friday night to see the play i didnt look at him or talk to him. We did have an important talk the last time we saw eachother and the time before that. But i think that he believes that we patched things up and all's dandy again. . . its not. I dont know if he remembers but i remember what it was like when we were friends. And sure times are different now i guess but i dont know what kind of friend i was to him. . . basically i know he was one of my best friends next to Michelle he was my other best friend and he was ALWAYS my best guy friend. Im not to sure what i was to him though. Just another friend i think.
My point is i want to be able to hang like we used to and talk like we used to but i will not start it if any one is approching the other or calling the other i need him to do it. that way ill know that he actually wants to be my friend and hes not just feeling bad for me so he talks to me.
(if you read this ian im sory if i was cold the other night)
Being alone is the hardest part for me
I saw Paranormal Activety and i feel like im the main charecter alot of the things she describes that happened to her happened to me. All i know is that when my mom goes to the keys the week of her birthday im going to be on edge hopeing that maybe i can have a friend by my side to keep an eye on me. In the movie after loud foot steps are heard and a door slams her boy friend who is living with her screams "show your self " to the spirit (or something like that) it reminded me of something that happened to me in the past. i just hope that if something happens again i can take care of it on my own. i hope

i hope for many things. . .

V if you read this there is no need for a comment im just venting.