I miss her

It's been five long years since she died. I dont know what triggers it and i dont know why it still happens, but randomly she comes back....
All i was doing was thinking.... about school... about Ian... about summer and gameboy games and sandwiches and then it all just stopped. I just remembered that she was gone how could something that happened so long ago still hurt so much? FIVE YEARS! Five years. . . Its like shes still here sleeping in my bed with me softly breathing on my chest. I can feel her soft skin her small body sleeping safely on mine. Right now shes right next to me and it hurts SO MUCH. She was all i knew and all i had, she was all i wanted and all that i needed. I was never alone. All i spoke, thought, and dreamed about was her. And here i am now in this adult body feeling like this was all yesterday. And it still hurts soo much. Tears running down my cheeks. Just to hold her again to look into her beautiful brown eyes. Shes been gone for a long time... and its been a long time since i've felt like this. Although it hurts its the closest i feel to her. When i feel like this .... when i feel like right after she died i feel like shes still her like her last breath is still hanging in the air. No one can understand. The only one that can come close is Michelle but i cant even talk to her now. What can i do?

I love you darling i always will. I guess this proves that i wont ever forget. They all laughed and pointed fingers. They all scoffed at our love. But i will always remember your beauty. I will always remember your charm. Your amazing apatite and your sleeping face. I'll remember your eyes and the last time i saw them. Goodnight my love ill see you in my dreams <3